Week Nine NFL Wrap Up

The Games…

MIA 22 CIN 20

Andy Dalton doing what Andy Dalton does best />

And what he does best is being a mediocre quarter back, And getting sacked in the endzone for a safety to lose your team the game in probably the dumbest way possible. Keep on Keepin’ on Big Red!

CAR 34 ATL 10

Matt Ryan simply has no one to throw too. I mean when your best receiver’s name is Harry Douglas you can’t really expect to win many games.

Ridiculous name though, his parents must of been going for a joke name or something. It would be like if Matt Bonner’s name was Harry Bonner.

WAS 30 SD 24

It’s sad really, the Chargers still can’t win a game when RG3 makes plays like this

Philip Rivers is just one of those people who can not win. He’s talented, but he just can not be successful for some reason.

NYJ 26 NO 20

It was a battle of former fat man, feet loving Rex, and still fat Rob Ryan.

And Rex came out on top. On a side note I’m surprised guys like Kubiak are dropping on the sideline but somehow Rob Ryan’s still kicking, making horrible calls every week. Guys got the biggest beer gut I think I have ever seen.

TEN 28 STL 21

Rams and Titans game, doesn’t really get any more boring than that.

I mean there’s this highlight at least.

KC 23 BUF 13

I’m pretty sure you are not supposed to throw the ball directly to the other team when you are on their one yard line, and then let that player return it for a touchdown. But hey, that’s just me.

Jeff Tuel may be the worst quarterback ever, If the Bills didn’t turn the ball over and allow Kansas City to get 2 defensive touchdowns, they would of won this game. Everyone always bashes the AFC East but if you really look at it, it could sneakily be one of the better divisions in football. Jets took down the Saints yesterday, Dolhpins took down the Bengals on Thursday, and the Pats destroyed the Steelers. The Bills really should of won, and would of won, if they didn’t have Jeff Tuel, their third string quarterback, playing. Take a look at the division standings:

photo (3)

Most of the losses on each teams schedule comes against other teams in the division, besides the Jets but the Jets are the most sporadic team in history. Some food for thought there though.

Oh and Kansas City loses in the first round of the playoffs, guaranteed. No offense at all.

SEA TB 24

Really thought the most disgusting team in the league would pull this one out. But when Mike Glennon gets murdered at the start of the game, you should know your team is going to go up 21-0 then blow the lead and lose the game. Should of known from the start.

PHI 49 OAK 20

This is the last time we will see Bad Newz Kennelz until Foles inevitably either throws 7 int’s his next game or gets his 40th concussion. The real bet here is to see which comes first.

And in case you were wondering, Al Davis Jr. still has the freshest hair cut in the game today.

NE 55 PIT 31

Well that was the Patriots of old. Gronk spikes, Big Ben turnovers, really queer Brady moments… but then you realize hes a multi millionare, is married to Gisele, and his house has a moat. The game had it all.

I hate my life.

CLE 24 BAL 18

Well I guess the Browns aren’t bad anymore.

And Flacco’s contract continues to be laughable. Maybe he needs to bring back the Fu-Man-Chu thing he had going.

Nvm

IND 27 HOU 24

Case Keenum is actually going to be a really good quarterback, which means incredibly funny tweets from Rovell.

rovell

LOL, Nailed it!

But about the actual game, if you sign a kicker like Randy Bullock, who simply is a fat person, to be your kicker, you should expect him to miss 3 out of 4 kicks and lose the game for you. And if the Texans didn’t that is their fault and no one else’s.

Truly should inspire the young football players that anybody can be a kicker, maybe not a good one, but a kicker none the less. And teams like the Texans will sign you, because they are stupid.

Also, when your head coach goes down, I think the last person I would want taking over is Wade Phillips AKA Newt Gingrich.

CHI 27 GB 20

It’s truly horrible to see elite quarterbacks go down and then Seneca (name straight out of Zelda) Wallace play. It’s even more horrible to see your survival league team lose because of that injury.

Also does Skip Bayless get paid to say really stupid things so people talk about them? If so, play on playa, because he does a good job at it.

skip

The answer is no Skip, you don’t start Josh McCown over Jay Cutler after one game. If you need an example of why this is a bad idea, look at Matt Flynn or Kevin Kolb.

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