Monthly Archives: October 2013

NFL Weekend Wrap Up Week 8

Here is another weekend wrap up of what went down in the NFL

CAR 31 TB 13

Cam Newton is feeling right at home

So is Marshall Faulk.

 

SF 42 JAX 10

Kind of what we are all thinking

Except this guy

But for the love of god Roger Godell please do not move the Jaguars to London, I mean look at these guys.

They look like a gayer version of the cast of cats. I mean for Pete’s Peppers these may be the worst fans on earth. Fucking Brits.

But the Jaguars are heading into a bye week, is it possible to lose that too? 0-16.

NYG 15 PHI 7

The sad thing is the Giants are only 2 out of the division lead, playoff bound.

Eli had to sell his soul to do so, but at least they are back in it!

NO 35 BUF 17

With fans like these can you actually lose?

But you probably shouldn’t let Drew Brees run around in the pocket.

NE 27 MIA 17

Marquice Cole and Devin Mccourty for the Men’s Olympic Vollyball team!

Love the name Marquice by the way. I can’t imagine seeing your child being born and being like “that’s a Marquice if I’ve ever seen one.”

KC 23 CLE 17

How bad must it suck to be from Cleveland? The Indians tease you this year by almost making the playoffs then the Brown tease you by winning three straight then dropping two in a row. The only good news for the Browns coming out of this game is Jason Campbell actually looks like he isn’t that bad. I am sure going to miss Brandon Weeden, one minute you see him, the next minute he some how misses a giant flag being spread out over the field and gets taken under and is gone forever. Goodnight sweet prince.

But really that should of been a warning to the Browns he was a horrible NFL quarterback. If you can’t see a giant flag coming across the field how do you expect to see a NFL corner back coming across to pick you off?

DET 31 DAL 30

Dallas choked in the final minute? You’ve cat to be kitten me!

And Dez Bryant threw a temper tantrum on the side line?! Now flipping way!

Love how the random assistant coach just looked at him and then walked away. Not taking Dez serious for a minute.

I think Jason Witten would be the last person in the world I would want yelling at me. I would just drop dead right there.

Oh and Calvin Johnson had 329 receiving yards to go along with a touchdown.

Dez Bryant said last week “I can do whatever Calvin can do” well obviously not seeing you had 72 receiving yards and threw a teenage girl size tantrum on the sidelines.

OAK 21 PIT 18

I mean I am not a doctor nor do I claim to be but if you let the Quarterback have a 92 yard Touchdown run, untouched, on the first play of the game, you’re going have a bad time.

CIN 49 NYJ 9

Yup the Jets won their Super Bowl off a blown call vs. The Patriots. It is all down hill from here.

Sorry Rex

ARI 27 ATL 13

Most shocking game of the day for me, I thought Arizona was really bad, I mean they still are but I guess the Falcons are just worse.

Matt Ryan just simply has no one to throw too.

DEN 45 WAS 21

Maybe I was a little off with this pic, but the Redskins did lead 21-7 early in the third quarter, but then they played like the Redskins and it all went downhill from there. RG3 should of probably taken the year off to heal that knee, if he can’t run he is as ineffective as it gets.

The bottom line is RG3 is not a pocket passer. He is a mobile Quarterback and if he can’t open up the secondary by running the ball himself, he is as ineffective as it gets.

GB 44 MIN 31

The Vikings are really bad, but check out Cordarrelle Paterson’s Kick Off Return

Random, but how annoying are those discount double check commercials at this point, especially the ones with The Bears Fan’s. Every time I see one I want to smash my TV.

The Boston Sports Conspiracy

After another ridiculous call against Boston Sports I feel like Charlie Kelly working in the mailroom. There is a conspiracy against Boston Sports that will rock the sports world to its core.

As you may know Boston has been known as “title town” in recent years.

And I think the sporting world, and the nation is unhappy with it. Here are a few examples of critical blown calls in huge games, in pivotal moments of those games, against Boston Teams.

Game 2 Eastern Conference Finals Against Heat

Clear foul on D-Wade against Rondo that completely changed the game and the series. Instead of 2 free throws at the line in a tie game the Heat get a fast break to go up by 2. The Heat go on to win that game and take a 2-0 lead on the Celtics in the series. The Heat go onto win that series 4-3. Who to blame?

Stern. Everyone knows about the NBA conspiracy theories, and if you don’t, you should read up on them. I’m not going to waist my time here (more than I already am) spelling them out to you. But the Boston Sports Conspiracy does not end here.

Patriots Broncos 2005 Playoffs

If you are a New England Sports fan you remember this game for its atrocious refereeing. Remember Champ Bailey’s 101 yard pick off, when Ben Watson chased Champ Bailey down at the one yard line and Bailey fumbled the ball out the back of the end zone, but it was ruled out at the one? I do.

Cleary a touchback. Big because the Patriots would of gotten the ball back at the 20 instead of the Broncos scoring a touchdown from one yard out.

Putin Steals Robert Krafts Super Bowl Ring

Putin, badass of the century, just ups and steals Krafts Super Bowl Ring. Trying to erase the Patriots Super Bowl Victory and make us “average” like the damn commie he is. But he is still just a pawn to the mastermind of this whole god damn operation.

Yes, that is Vladimir Putin.

Jets Patriots 2013

Recent example, obviously a stupid call. Read more about it here

Red Sox Cardinals Last Night

The Obstruction Call

Middle Brooks made a play on the ball and did all he could to get out of the basepath. The one footed gimp Allen Craig is just a huge cocksmooch and decided to make a Lebron Style Flop over Middlebrooks because he knows he is slow as shit. Jim Joyce again being the center of attention makes a stupid call.

(Rape Fruits, Solid Youtube Username Game)

Close Play

Another LeBron flop cause fuck him

Anyways, you see where I am going with this. The Sports world has been trying to screw Boston Sports sense we started winning everything. And to me there is only one reasonable explanation. The man who wants to make everyone equal…..

obama 3

OBAMA
Socialist Baphoon wants us all to be equal, well here is where we start. Everyone gets to win Championchips! Even stupid cities like St. Louis! He starts with universal healthcare reform, now sports world reform. Duck Obama.

Things we have learned from this blog:
1. Obama is at the source of every problem.
2. My Paint Skills are out of this world.
3. LeBron is a bitch

There you have it, the Boston Sports Conspiracy.

Week 8 Outlook

With Week 8 in the NFL approaching, here is an outlook and prediction for the upcoming games. Roll with these picks because I am right about everything.

CAR TB

Role with Carolina in this game for four reasons:

Cam Newton is on fire

Doug Martin is out (most likely for year)

Tampa Bay Sucks

photo (3)
And Steve Smith may kill somebody

May be the last person on earth you want to see in a back ally.
Besides this guy

DET DAL

Dallas has the 31st ranked pass defense in the league and Detroit has Calvin Johnson.

 

 


Expect a lot of this.
It will be a close game, and Tony Romo will choke, because that is what Tony Romo does.

PIT OAK

Pittsburgh is going to make the playoffs so of course I have them winning this game
Also, the Raiders can manage to get a 3rd and 50 so they may never win again

CIN NYJ

Cinci wins this one because Fuck the Jets

PHI NYG

The Giants aren’t back, they just played the shittiest quarterback in Josh Freeman last week.
If Bad Newz Kennelz plays the Eagles win
Update on EatDatPussy445’s twitter game: Rock Solid, but would you really expect anything less?
edp 2

SF JAX

Need I say more?

WAS DEN

Were they trying to look like giant dicks?
See what I did there?

With fans like that Denver deserves to lose.

Washington wins this one though, RG3 is looking like he can run again and the Broncos Defense is brutal. So isn’t the Redskins but Washington is desperate to save there season. RG3 stirs up some magic and beats Peyton. If there is one major upset to go with this week, its this one. Take the over and The Redskins with points. Put your life saving on it.

KC CLE
No more Brandon Weeden

But let start Jason Campbell!

Seriously though I don’t know what I am going to do without being able to watch Brandon Weeden be terrible every Sunday.

NO BUF

No circling the bandwagon this week.

ATL ARI
Matty Ice can throw the ball and Carson Palmer can’t.

GB MIN

If you watched MNF last week you know just how bad an NFL quarterback can be.
And if Freeman can’t go due to a concussion, Ponder is not much better.

SEA STL

The Rams reached out to Brett Farve earlier today, so that just shows how desperate they are. I mean don’t get me wrong Farve is a wrangler if I have ever seen one. But he’s like 50.

And to the Ram’s GM Les Snead

NFL Weekend Recap

Here is recap of this weekends NFL games.

SD 24 JAX 6

If you are in a survival pool, roll with teams playing Jasonville, they may just go 0 16.<

WAS 45 CHI 41

Goodbye Cutler, Goodbye Briggs, Goodbye Bears!

And can you be a worse person than Brandon Meriweather? Seriously I think everyone hates him.

DAL 17 PHI 3

Nick Foles is the next Kevin Kolb

Lets hear what Eatdatpussy445 had to say about this loss.

But here is a serious question, if a sloot on twitter offers you to eat pastrami off her ass after a loss, did you really loose?

edp

Probably, Cause you will get AIDS. Or Pink Eye

CIN 27 DET 24

I’ve said it once and ill say it again, AJ Green is the best wide receiver in the NFL.

NYJ 30 NE 27

You can read my recap about this here. short version, Patriots got jewed.

BUF 23 MIA 21

Oh how the Dolphins have fallen.

PIT 19 BAL 17

If you don’t think the Steelers are going to win the AFC North then you don’t know anything about anything

photo (3)

Browns suck, Ravens suck because they don’t have a murderer leading there team, Bengals will collapse.

KC 17 16

Kansas City is a sneaky bad 7-0 team, I think.

By the way Andy Reid is the Kool Aid man.

ATL 31 TB 23

Tampa Bay sucks, and is really gross.

Goodbye Greg Schiano

GB 31 CLE 13

Cleveland still has Brandon Weeden, so they still suck.

Sweet Throw!

Kidding

IND 39 DEN 33

Broncos lost to the Colts?! Time to jump on the Luck Bandwagon ESPN!

And Pat Mcfee took out Trindon Holiday.

But looking at his picture I don’t see why people are surprised.

NYG 23 MIN 7

Josh Freeman is really bad

The Vikings Offensive Coordinator should be fired for throwing the ball 50 times when he has Adrian Peterson.

And Eli won!


Durp.

Patriots vs Jets Recap

Well that was a horrible call. Either way the Patriots deserved to lose this game.

First things first, what a fucking horrible call. Just plain awful. You can not make a call like that at that point of the game no matter what. Ever. Terrible. This has been happening around the NFL all year, The Jets did it earlier in the game for Christ sakes! And no call. Absolutely Brutal. And anyone comparing this call to the tuck rule is a moron. The Tuck rule had been being called throughout the 04 season, this has never been called. If the tuck rule was not called, people would have been up in arms about it. If this call wasn’t called, people would of never of noticed it. Game would of continued on as usual, and that to me is the biggest difference. Brutal call.

All of that being said, the Pats did deserve to lose this game. Brady has looked bad as of late. He has been inaccurate and he looked to Gronk to often this game. It was predictable. He missed on a crossing route which led to a pick 6. He missed a wide open Dobson down the sideline. Bottom line is Brady has to be better if we want any shot at a Super Bowl. Zero touchdown passes in the last 2 out of 3 games is simply unacceptable.

At least our division still sucks balls so we should have no problems making the playoffs.

Oh and Rex Ryan is still a creepy, foot-loving, shit stain.

The Government Shutdown, does it really matter?

Do people still care about this? Is it still happening?

I turned on the news today and all the butthurt CNN reporters are talking about October 17th being “Doomsday” and if we don’t solve this “Crisis” then really bad things will happen. Bullshit. First off, all the government officials are sitting up in their mansions Thad Castleing the fuck out of strippers.

(Except the girls are probably a lot more wrinkly and old)

But Seriously, once October 17th comes around and congress is still sitting around finger poppin eachothers assholes, what happens. I feel like we are just going to declare bankruptcy Michael Scott Style and then Congress will continue to bicker like a bunch of teenage girls.

Did I just predict the future? I think I did.

NFL Weekend Rap Up

Here is a Recap of what went down this past weekend in the NFL.

CHI 27 NYG 21
The Giants are 0-6, and I can’t tell if Eli has a hint of downs, or if he has a concussion. Either way, I do not understand how we lost 2 Super bowls to this Jabroni(Can I use that as a football term, or is it strictly for hockey)

STL 38 HOU 13

Matt Schuab destroys every quarterback he touches, including TJ Yates. Stay classy Houston.

GB 19 BAL 17
Joe Flacco continues to suck and it makes me so happy. The ESPN analyst saying he was elite at the start of the year for one good post season was hysterical. If his WR’s didn’t make a few big plays for him yesterday his numbers would have been garbage. Also, the Ravens continue to show how they are the dirtiest team in the league, probably because they were led by a football player, turned murderer, turned football player, turned annalist right?

PHI 31 TB 20

Nick Foles made a play for Vick’s job, that’s for sure.
N. Foles (PHI) – 296 YDS, 3 TD, 1 RUSH TD

PIT 19 NYJ 6
Big Ben had a good day, and The Jets are back to being The Jets. All is well in the world.

KC 24 OAK 7

For some reason I feel The Chiefs are one of those sneaky bad teams that are undefeated, and they will get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs.

And are belly shirts back in?

What about Jorts?
DET 31 CLE 17

Well the Hoyer magic is gone, and now you’re stuck with Brandon Weeden. What do you really expect? Maybe Farve will come back?

Why can’t I get paid to do this?

SEA 20 TEN 13

Seattles punter may have been drunk, and I don’t think Steven Hauskaha knows what planet is he on.

DEN 35 JAX 17

John Fox had Jacksonville with points. ESPN is ready to hop on the Peyton/Broncos Bandwagon though!

This is how ESPN annalist are with Peyton, even kind of looks like Rovell
SF 32 ARI 20

Will Larry Fitzgerald ever have another good quarterback throw to him again?

The answer is no.

DAL 31 WAS 20
Everyone realizes Shannohan ruined RG3’s career right?

Oh and Tony Romo has a really hot wife.